Living an Intentional Lifestyle with Daniel Mangena

Reading Time: 20 Minutes

In this interview, Daniel Mangena share what it means to live an intentional lifestyle.

After the Interview

About Daniel Mangena

After receiving a late diagnosis of Asperger’s and experiencing what can only be described as life-shattering trauma at the age of just 20, Daniel spent the next seven years struggling to keep these revelations and events from spilling into every area of his life. As a result of his struggles, Daniel built a simple, four-step system called the Beyond Intention Paradigm.

Read the Transcript

This transcript was auto-generated from the original video recording using Otter Voice Meeting Notes. While the transcript has not been human edited, we hope it will still help you to quickly find or reference useful information from the interview.


Welcome back to the deliberate leaders Podcast. I am your host, Allison Dunn, executive coach and founder of the deliberate leaders podcast dedicated to helping leaders build strong driving businesses. Each episode, we feature inspiring interviews to help you on your leadership journey. And our guest today, super excited to introduce, and we have Daniel Magena with us. He is an author, as well as a motivational speaker on the ideas of empowerment and joy. He has a very interesting, interesting story, which I will actually have him share. But as a result of the struggles that he has had, um, he has built a simple four step system called the beyond intention paradigm. And he is an author and motivational speaker, he is a podcaster himself, and in a series called to do it. Daniel, thank you so much for joining us here on the show today,


thank you for having me, I’m excited to  add some light to your audience and to support them in in reaching their goals and dreams.


Fantastic. So I like to kick these off with just a calm, you know, deliberate conversation. And I just I seek that number one tip that you leadership tip would that you would give to our listeners based on your experience.


Being human. Leadership doesn’t turn you into like a bionic robot, you don’t suddenly go into a cryogenic machine or wherever you become a leader, you’re still a human. And that humanity will give you a level of compassion, I feel that will support you in being more compassionate to those around you will also start you’re beating yourself up, which actually, I feel pulls us out of a conducive space to create solutions to challenges and problems that come up. And also allows us to have more conscious awareness to what we’re doing. Because if I’m beating myself up about something in the past, I’m not present enough to move my business or my organization forward. Absolutely.


That is the first time I’ve had I’ve had someone give that piece of advice. But what I will reinforce on that is the more human you can show people you are where you’re flawed, you’re not perfect, you make mistakes, and you’re and I think people are attracted to things that you know, they can relate to of being imperfect and being human which and authentic.


Yeah, for sure. Cool. Thanks for that tip. You have a super cool story. And I didn’t want to put it in the introduction. First off, because I don’t know that everyone, I’m super familiar with the terminology. Um, but I didn’t want to have people not know what it is. And I would love for you to explain it. So you received a diagnosis? Yes. And at age of 27, even out 27. Okay, so yeah, so share, share why this was a pivotal shifting moment for you and what the diagnosis was and what it meant.


So I was actually late diagnosed with Asperger’s. And for those who don’t understand Asperger’s is on the autistic spectrum. And the easiest way for me to explain the difference between someone that seen as purely autistic and someone Asperger’s is Asperger’s, you can still communicate more readily with outside world, when someone has more of a purely autistic brain, the capacity to communicate with your outer environment is limited, there are blocks on that. That’s why you will see that there are maybe people move in a certain way or they’re unable to hear or respond in a certain way. There’s also frustration on the inside for from your communication not being heard. It’s almost like being trapped basically, in the body. autistic brains are amazing. They do great things. But there are limitations on the engagement with the environment. with Asperger’s, there are limitations to a certain degree, but we’re more readily able to actually communicate with the outside world.


And that Asperger’s is a common diagnosis. I feel like you’re in states I’m sure it probably is worldwide now. My son who’s now a young adult, his best friend growing up had Asperger’s diagnosis they knew probably at about age four or five and it was just part of our community, our neighborhood and what we altered environment good for him. So how I’m just curious, in your bio, indicated that this was sort of like a like a life shattering thing for you. Why so actually.


What actually happened was 21 I actually lost everything when I was 20. I actually made my first million at the age of 19. And I lost everything by the age of 20 and then made it awkward I can last everything again at the age of 24. So actually, the, the earth shattering thing was that I’d actually set out to create my life a certain way. And I was convinced that I cracked the code for like reality. I’ve cracked the code, I got it, and like it worked. And then I lost everything. And I wasn’t the first time I lost everything. I wasn’t even really that thrown off course, I was like, oh, cool, whatever, I’m gonna do it again. So I went off took a bit longer this time, when I did it, and then lost everything again. The second time, we lost everything. I was like, Okay, this is I felt like a bit of a bit of a fall really, because, you know, mom just wanted me to finish my, you know, I finished my college degree, marry a girl from church, maybe be a deacon or an elder, you know, do that every weekend. And you know, and I gone on this rabbit, rabbit, this rebel path, I’m gonna be out there and do this esoteric stuff, and I’m going to create my reality. And, you know, it was very humbling to crush down on you to believe that everything that you believed in as to how life works kind of ripped away. And it was in the aftermath of that, that I got my diagnosis of Asperger’s, Asperger’s actually saved me. Okay, because what ended up happening was, I’d spent my entire life with crippling social anxiety, crippling, general anxiety, horrific spate of insomnia. My ability to hold relationships of any kind was severely limited. My friend circle was about two or three people outside of like, my immediate family, or extended family, or people that we grew up with at church or wherever that kind of didn’t have a choice that came as a package deal, right? And when I understood, Oh, I am so socially awkward, because I don’t naturally have the function of socializing, because I don’t have that wiring. But I do have the strength of learning anything system wise. So I just went and learned about social dynamics, understood the system of socializing, and then was able to build frameworks to be able to go and build authentic relationships with people. So actually, what Asperger’s for me was, was a savior. It brought a lot of clarity. It gave me awareness of my superpowers, and also helped me to be more loving and compassionate with myself. Because it wasn’t something wrong. There was beauty to who I was, I just needed to understand that beauty.


Yeah, that’s a that’s an incredibly eloquent way of describing it. I think I am. That’s, that’s very cool. I know that my listeners are going to be super curious. I know. It’s just part of your story. It does define who you are. But I’m a millionaire by 19. That’s pretty cool.


So I had a business with some up, why not put this right, my friend’s brother and I set up a business doing electronics distribution. He then brought in some of his friends. And before you knew it, there was about 20 people that were doing electronic distribution, we’re wholesaling cars, or wholesaling food products, we’re doing real estate, we’re doing all of this stuff, which is great, except we didn’t have any of the right licensing for how we’d set up. We haven’t have the right licensee, and then it just all ended up getting pulled away. There was like a massive investigation and all of this, it was really, really, really, really messy thing. And again, you know, this is one of the things that was so crushing for me at the time, because I’d arrogantly gone into this world of entrepreneurship, like I knew myself, like Dude, you hadn’t even done one year of college, you hadn’t seen life, like you didn’t know anything about the world. But because I’d learned this great information about creating reality, I didn’t understand that. Just having inflammation, without experience without mentorship without counsel without guidance. Without the capacity emotionally to hold all of these things is always going to end up as a mess. And this is part of the foundation that’s brought me to where I am today, you know, some best part of 20 years later, having gone through all of these experiences and learn, all of these pieces must come together in order for me to create an outcome. And it’s what I call alignment understanding that, for me to have an outcome, it doesn’t matter how clever I am, if I don’t have emotional intelligence, it doesn’t matter how mentally intelligent I am. If I don’t have the will to move forward or have the right strategies and the right knowledge of the system, the physical systems that have to be in place for success. I learned the hard way. And now I get to share those experiences and what people can learn from them in their own life to move forward and have success.


And I talk a lot about alignment and I coach a lot on alignment. And do you do you? Do you sense that most people struggle with that? Or is that part of your four step process?


You know, I wouldn’t even say it so much as struggling as  not even having an awareness of the importance of it. Because we’re taught work hard, or we’re taught do your spiritual Practice or meditate or pray, you know, go to a temple, your mosque or your church and ask for divine support. Allow your angels and your guides to do this or, you know, read loads of books, read a book a week, get the right morning regime, we’re given like these little singular hacks, and I love to look at them as just pieces of an overall puzzle. Sometimes someone will get that morning regime, and they’ll find their success. But that’s because they’re taking care of everything else. Or you’ll get that magical affirmation and things turn overnight. But that’s because you’ve done the job, or you’ll get that winning strategy, or that one opportunity to speak on that one stage or have that one article in it. But that’s because everything else has been taken care of. I think that if more people understood the power of enlightenment, they wouldn’t struggle, they get on and do it. And if they understood alignment, they’d understand that even if there were areas of struggle, it’s just about getting the right support to get over those humps. And to make the alignment happen. I feel there’s a call more for awareness to eliminate so great to hear someone else preaching the gospel of alignment, and that we’re not one dimensional beings, we exist on so many levels.


And the one of the things that you speak about is micro shifting. He can you tell me about how to do that and how to empower people to do it.


Sure. Micro shifting is. It’s, It comprises of a few different ideas. First of all, baby steps. One of the power of but one of the powers of baby steps is if I’m baby stepping, I don’t have the same resistance levels. A lot of the time we hit resistance, because we hit a brick wall from jumping too far. Like oh my god, it’s too big a leap versus taking the elephant down in bites, right? Oh, my God, I can’t put the elephant in my mouth. I’m gonna starve. Nobody can ever bite at a time. Right? There’s also intentionality with micro shifting, because all of those baby steps are moving towards a specific outcome. There’s consistency, because it’s about consistently doing it. But the power really I feel comes in what I call minimum deliverables, allowing those baby steps to be as small as they need to be, no matter how seemingly insignificant is no movement is insignificant if it’s made in the direction of a consciously chosen outcome is made consistently. And over time. If I do that, I’m always going to get where I’m going.


A I think micro shifting is super, super powerful. And are my business is deliberate directions. And so as long as you’re consistently, at any pace moving in the right deliberate direction, you win. Yeah. And I think as a society, we get really focused on how quickly you do it, or how hard it how hard it might be to get there. And so the small little wins each little step, you know, you can’t just get to the top of the staircase, like, for sure.


I mean, look, we all have the potential for quantum leaps, and massive leaps. We weren’t. But everybody has the capacity for baby steps, everybody’s got the ability to make baby steps, that we don’t always reach our potential. But we all can take baby steps, that’s something all of us can do. So it doesn’t matter what our potential is, if we’re doing what we definitely can do, we’re always going to succeed. This isn’t that I don’t take big shots, I do, I shoot for the fence. But I pick my shots, I pick, I pick them, I make sure that I’ve got an environment of momentum towards success, because otherwise I’m going to sabotage myself, if I’ve been taking big hits take the kids take big and nothing’s been going, then I’m actually reinforcing failure, I’m reinforcing negative momentum in my mind. So any one of those big kids to come could have been the one but I’m now limiting myself in terms of my mental ability to, to follow through, I’m gonna have doubt and anxiety, my emotional capacity is going to be limited, versus building a conducive environment through micro shifts, and then picking those hits for the big shot. Because even if I don’t make it, a, I’ve got all of this success that I’m backing off of. So I’m not going to have that negative net negativity. And also, I’m going to get somewhere I might not hit the fences. But if I’ve been warming up for a week, when I go to the gym, I may hit it three quarters of the way, I may hit it off of the way, but I’m definitely going to have a stronger baseline to go on from my next try. Sure.


Do Would you mind sharing your personal mission statement? Do you have it memorized?


To bring about an overall shift to spearhead an overall shift in the uplift of Universal Consciousness buy in by spark by sparking within people, what I call something that’s encoded in them that I call their dream. That’s a very, very, very broad and broad to paraphrase. But that’s the one you’ve got there is the poetic edited version that copywriter made sure look beautiful, but at its root, it’s this. Humanity is made up of humans. The sum total of humanity are going to bring about the sum total of human experience. If more people are abundant, joyful, purpose driven and excited, that’s going to contribute to a tipping point that’s going to affect the overall universal consciousness of everybody that makes up humanity. I see my job is lighting up people to do their part and bring that about, I’m not gonna be able to do it by myself. But even if I reach one person every day, and they reach one person every day, we’re all going to contribute to an overall turnover, you know, of the fear, the doubt the the craziness that’s going on, that’s just what we’re experiencing as a result of the sum total of humans are making up humanity.


I, I feel like it’s unfortunate, but a lot of people are in more fear. You know, they’re in a negative mindset, we have a lot of strife and anxiety going on in our in our society. And probably the most that I’ve ever recognized it in my lifetime so far.


What is your best advice for individuals who are stuck there a little bit?


First thing I would say is to accept that right now I feel stuck. Because I can’t overcome something that I’m pretending isn’t happening. And when I think one of the things that ends up happening with the positive thinking stuff is, was oh, you know, I’m happy, I’m joyful. No, you’re not, you’re scared and you’re anxious. And even if your words don’t say it, your vibration, saying it, your emotional state saying it, the chemicals and hormones in your body are saying it, that means that the mental imaging that you’re doing is saying it, and therefore the manifestation of that is going to continue to be perpetuated. But when I can take stock of where I am, then I can start to create an effective strategy to move into something else in micro shifts, one day at a time, one choice at a time. But it starts with me owning where I’m at. And that’s what I would say. And we’re at, be okay with it. Don’t beat yourself and get into blame, shame and guilt. Because at the end of the day, this life thing, none of us are getting out of life anyway. So instead of taking it so seriously, and losing the experience of it caught up in what went wrong yesterday. Oh my god, I can’t believe I did buy bitcoin when it was $3,000 or whatever. It’s like, Alright, let’s just take a pause. Okay, all of that stuff happened. Where am I now? Where do I want to go? Next? What my strengths? What are my shortfalls? What support do I need? What resources do I need to do? What learning do I need to do? What skills do I need to develop? And then start chipping away at that one day at a time in microshift?


You, you recently wrote a blog titled The most common point of failure and how to fix it. Can you? Can you share kind of a brief description of that with our audience? And what that might look like?


How recently did not put that plug out?


It didn’t write down the date. Title was fascinating to me.


If you give me if you give me a clue on the first bit, and then I’ll probably because I write the book spider right, the titles.


Oh, no worries. So let’s talk about a premise super high level regardless blog, what are the most common points of failure?


I think one of the most common points of failure is actually not recognizing that nothing’s a failure. Nothing is actually a failure or time, I just want everyone to soak that in.


One of the most common points of failure is that nothing is a failure. Because we never, ever fail at anything, we just succeed at things that we don’t necessarily want to succeed at. And then we put it in another way, one of my favorite denizens is that the unconscious mind doesn’t lose. And the environment doesn’t like when we look at the way that the brain works, the unconscious mind is a perfect execute machine. It’s a Terminator. It never failed at anything. But sometimes there’s a disconnect between what’s going on at an unconscious level. And what we consciously choose someone who’s having money problems, and you know, they’re trying to get out of it. And it’s nothing’s working. It’s not that nothing’s working is that the underlying program is being met with the results that you’re achieving. Because the unconscious mind as a perfect executing machine is just running on the instructions that it’s been given. You know, it’s like having a factory, that you gave them instructions on how to make blue shirts, for example, you wake up one morning and say, you know, I want red shirts. And then you’re standing outside at the truck saying, Why are you still producing blue shirts, and like, these are the most perfect blue shirts ever. These are the instructions that we give it. Or we’re sitting in the manager’s office looking at the wall, visualizing or looking at the vision board of red shirts, but we’ve not done anything to go down to communicate with the workforce. With the foreman. With quality control. This is what we’re making now. So what I invite people to do is instead of beating themselves up about the failure of having blue shirts instead of red shirts, recognize I’m getting what I want at some level, and start to develop a relationship with myself and how I work in a level so that I can communicate the new instructions and start to move towards having that new outcome.


That’s That is super powerful. So what would be the first step? I guess, in trying to be able to one, identify it? And then and then recognize how do you actually make the shift? So can you take me into a second step on that.


So I would say, the environment isn’t like, if you want to know what’s going on in terms of your internal program, take a look at the results that you’re getting. If your business has been stuck at a certain place, then unconsciously you’ve got the ICD there, you know, Oh, you got a contract, and then you lost it, or things started to go up, and then it came back, we’re always going to come back to if we look at the stats around lottery winners, 90% of them get back to exactly where they were, within five years, the poor go back to being poor, people in the middle, go back to being in the middle people that were rich, stay rich, because we always go home, we always come back to default. So start by taking audit of your life, where do you stay most of the time, people that are looking at relationships, it’s a different person, but it’s the same person every time until you do something different. The Universal or subconscious momentum says that that pattern of causation is going to keep giving effects until we disrupt it and introduce a new one. But unless we know what the pattern is, then we don’t we can’t work out an effective roadmap to where we want to go to eventually. So take a look at your environment, what your results are. Most of the time. You know, when I’m working with people around financial abundance, I get them to write down their soft edge where they’re at financially 80% of the time, not on payday. But most of the time, where are you? Where are you? That’s going to give you an idea of your worth thermostat, look at the sales in your business, where are you most of the time, you might have a good year, but where do you come back to in general, what’s the medium, right? That’s going to give you the environment, that’s going to give you a clue as to what’s going on for the program. Now, if that isn’t what you want it to be, then there’s some work to be done in stretching that edge. That might mean getting an effective coach, it might mean doing some healing around trauma that you’ve got around it, it might mean working on some limiting beliefs that you have around how much you’re able to talk to earn around worthiness, then and only then there’s a strategy make any sense to employ? Does it make sense investing money and getting a new funnel, right? Or a new sales team or the new needs jiggly? internally, your emotional capacity and your limitation your mental limits are still holding us in place, take care of the inside and I can guarantee any strategy that I use is going to work because the action piece is just bringing home what I’ve already done the work for internally.


It’s powerful. And what? In what ways do you encourage others to live an intentional lifestyle.


I always remind people that it’s just an analogy I used to do like us much, much earlier in my work. It’s like driving a car. When we’re not being intentional, we’re not owning the responsibilities create our life. It’s like driving a car, with your hands off the wheel, randomly dancing the pedals with your eyes closed. What’s going to happen with that, you know, people get into the blame. And they start saying, well, I had a coach and you know, the coach can’t drive the car for you, they can just help you in that they support me, right. And those who are coaches and consultants in the listeners, you’re responsible to people and are responsible for them, you can give them the resources for change, but you can’t affect the change within them. Right. So intentionality is about disrupting whatever the ongoing pattern is. And bringing a conscious awareness to the color sets that I want my factory to produce, not stamping my feet, because I’m getting the wrong color. I’m getting the wrong type of clothing, or the quality control, and I’m taking ownership for it. And against the backdrop of that ownership saying, This is what I consciously choose to intend to create in my life. This is why I consciously choose to experience my intentions, the disruption of whatever the unconscious pattern is, whatever the default has been up until now, so I can have what I truly want.


What is up? Can I make it personal for just a moment for you? What are you intentionally working on for yourself right now?


Well, I’ve just had a baby, my son is gratulations Thank you. 11 days is gonna be two months old. And I’m really obsessed with legacy right now. Like, I’ve got nephews and nieces. And I’ve also, you know, the family name or whatever. But I’m looking at like he is my legacy. That is what’s going to carry on of me. And also it’s going to be the perfect reflection of what I’m doing internally. So I’ve actually got immediate feedback, both because children are sponges, like I see Ethan now like a cutscene. Like just looking up. He’s getting little personality traits. You know what I’m talking about when they’re getting a little facial expressions, and he’s making certain sounds. He’s only getting that from the environment, and the apartment is with my wife and his sister. So we’re contributing to that and that’s what I’m being really, I’m using this opportunity to do to be really intentional about the energy that I’m putting out. What that’s going to mean for the legacy for my name for what I’m doing with the work that I do. You know, getting more books out more content out there, and really leaving an imprint that’s going to speak to my purpose, I might not finish my mission, maybe Ethan’s going to do it. Or maybe he’s going to have a kid that’s going to do it. But I don’t know. But that’s what I’m really focusing in intention on at the moment.


That’s fantastic. Which kind of leads into my next question just to give a, when you think about your legacy, and I love I just love the idea of a legacy, something that goes, you know, lives way beyond your lifetime. But that’s really hard for most people to envision. So what would you What would you say is your focus for the next 10 years from now, you know, where will Daniel be?


Principally, it’s beyond intention becoming the way that people look at their reality. If we look at the life right now, as we’re recording this in February 2021, the world very much in a bit of a tailspin. And I feel the reason why it’s in a tailspin is because for the first time, a lot of people are recognizing that they weren’t in control of their life, they’d be living a life that they didn’t want. They’ve been running on programs and paradigms, that now there is no noise in business, to keep them under the illusion of actually being real. I would love it to be just like how the alchemist has become, you know, something that people do, how the power of now brought people to looking at presence. And now notice how the secret had people talking about the law of attraction. I’d love to produce something that had people looking at personal responsibility, intentionality, and consciously creating their reality, and not some woowoo path piece, something that’s real, that tangible that people can use to actually live a better life.


As an Am I love, ownership and accountability are like my top two values in in my work that I do with clients. And so that’s a powerful topic, I look to reading that.


Look forward to right here.


I just want to make sure that in our conversation today with you I teed up that you developed a four step system called the beyond intention paradigm, cover all of the steps.


So the four steps is reasonable, I can break it down in a minute, right. And that’ll be enough for people to go and do something to move forward. So the four steps are accept clear, gratitude. And listen. And simply put, it’s this except is owning, I’m the author and creator of my life is stepping into full ownership and responsibility for my outcomes. That’s all it is. from that place of acceptance, I move on to step two, which is recognizing that I can’t create something real in a place that’s not real. The only place that’s real is now. So what clearing is, is letting go of the future that hasn’t happened yet. And the past isn’t there anymore, and coming to announce us so that I can actually make new choices to create new outcomes. Step three is connecting to that outcome. I believe that reality is a result of expectation that’s met with alignment. And one of the most powerful ways to cut through that is to be grateful for something that hasn’t happened yet. It’s the most powerful demonstration of faith and certainty. It actually changes the neural pathways in the brain and opens us up emotionally and mentally to receive something, it for runs anything that we want to front runs what we want to create. The fourth step is easy. It’s just remembering. I’m human. I’m not going to be on it every day. There’s going to be days I wake up and I don’t really feel like it. There’s gonna be days when I go Of course, but when I think and feel with awareness when I listen to what’s going on internally around me, I have a level of consciousness that means that I can course correct Maxwell maltz in his book Psycho Cybernetics reminds us that a guided missile doesn’t go from point A to point B perfectly and seamlessly. It always goes off course. And the guiding system brings it back on course. So listening puts me in a position where I can keep making the choice consistently to get back on course


Fantastic excellent. A quick description of those four steps and what I just want to make sure that people know how to connect with you Daniel on where to find you. You know what, where should I direct people to?


The best place to find me is always my website dream with is easy to remember. And dandy dreamer don’t Is he I’ve got free resources section that’s got like free goodies forever we’re doing any like free events or any even paid events are on the events page. My books are on there. Links to the podcast. Everything’s on dream with dental calm.


Fantastic Daniel, thank you so much for your insights today.


I love what your mission is about congratulations on your legacy development over the air and reading your book on ownership and accountability and responsibility. That’s very cool.


Thank you so much for having me. And I just wanna encourage anyone from the dreamers, dreamer community that listening to this, be sure especially if you’re an entrepreneurship to check out the podcast subscribe and rate and Have you written.


Fantastic Thank you. Thank you.

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