How can I tell if my child is lying?
Many times parents will ask me how do I know if my child is lying to me? My answer is when their lips are moving! Though parents are usually talking about adolescence my answer is not necessarily age specific. Some parents look at me like I’ve lost my mind. They wonder how could I say that, as it would be such a terrible assumption to make. My answer is, let’s just start there and work backwards. If you assume that what they are telling you is open to question then you will be much further ahead and better prepared if you are correct. If you are wrong and find out they were in fact telling you the truth so much the better. Not only is there no harm done, but the trust bank account may have a higher balance.
A common trap that parents fall into is to get issues confused when addressing a particular event. For example let’s say your son has an 11 o’clock curfew. He comes in at 11:30. You hear him come in, but decide to discuss it in the morning. Your first question after, “good morning”, is “when did you come in last night?” Your son says 11:05 and you say do not lie to me! Before you know it you are caught up in their lying. The old lesson about do not tell a lie etc. never allows you to get to the issue of the moment which is why did you come in after curfew.
A couple of other tips:
1.Do not ask your children to answer questions you already know the answer to. This will set them up to lie and thus run the risk of their throwing you off the track.
2. Don’t ask questions of your children that you are pretty sure they do not have the answer to.
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3.Remember children write the script according to the audience and if given the chance can be very creative.
