Appetite

Do you remember the last time you were invited to eat, but were not hungry?  Being polite, you might have said, “Sure,” only to struggle with getting any food down.   When I was growing up (a long time ago), it apparently was thought effective to make your kids eat and eat what was put in front of them.  My dad tells of my spitting out the peas, only to have him scoop them up and put them back in my mouth until I swallowed them – kind of ugly to even think about. 

As parents we often force-feed our children, never allowing them to create an appetite for what we are offering.  What do we force-feed?  Our ideas; our expectations; our need to know they are all right; our need to know that we are parenting right; our dreams; our commitment for them not having to go through what we went through; our addiction to their approval and their success.  These are just a few of our offerings that come to mind.  We are so anxious about giving, that we forget to take the time to receive.  Quickly, our children fill up.  If our kids are over eight, it is likely they haven’t heard anything new from us for a very long time.  Questions like – How was your day? – What did you learn today? – are offered as acts of love or interest, but are heard as questions with an expectation for the right answer.  What if we did not ask right away?   It might be by supper they will want to share, perhaps not the first time, but after awhile.  An overriding objective of children is to please or to be found pleasing to their parents.  When we stop probing, they will have an appetite to share.